Humour / poetry

I Snack More Than You Know

My darling – about my weight gain –

I am at a loss to explain

How, in spite of the way I train,

I’m up one whole kilo…

Though if I was to try to guess

How I might now weigh more, not less,

Well, simply put, I must confess:

… I snack more than you know.

 

I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner –

Those and gym, I might get thinner,

But, the truth is, I’m a sinner –

I’m my own greatest foe.

Yes, I tried that granola mix,

I’ve tried hummus and carrot sticks,

Those healthy snacks just aren’t a fix:

… I snack more than you know.

 

Reduced items from the deli,

Munching popcorn watching telly,

Bags of jellies in my belly,

Work-birthday and gateau –

doughnuts, cream cakes, fancy pastry,

all things that I’ve eaten lately,

all irresistibly tasty:

… I snack more than you know.

 

No one ever wrote a ballad,

Or a love song to tossed salad –

So, I think it is invalid

My body should forego

Sweet treats that are so delicious

In favour of plain… nutritious…

That belief is too malicious:

… I snack more than you know.

 

My darling – I apologise

For my deceit, for these white lies.

Please understand, I realise

My body takes the blow.

You only want me to stay fit

To live – at least – another bit,

So I best stop being a git:

… I will snack less… although –

 

My progress will, at first, be slow.

I’ll try swap high-in-carbs for low.

Since out’s the only way I’ll grow,

I’ll tell my stomach “NO.”

Here’s a new me saying hello

And with your help, I’ll find my flow,

I won’t miss treats from long ago:

You’re my sweet thing, you know.